We see this in the often eye-roll-inducing public apology. The reason for your mistake is not the issue right now: the problem you caused is the only issue on the table right now.
Understanding your loved one’s apology language can help mend a relationship fracture, so it’s important to open the dialogue of understanding early in the relationship. I would have quickly embraced such an apology.
If you think an explanation might help the person to be less upset, wait at least 10 minutes after your apology. I share tips about What to Say When challenging conversations arise. “I am so sorry that I’ve harmed you, and I’m going to take these steps to make sure I don’t make this mistake again.”. Created by Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the famed “The 5 Love Languages,” apology languages are a communication tool we can use to mend relationship fractures. The offended person is upset, and they want to know that you understand their pain or anger.
Without it, they will hear your words but the words will appear empty. Often, making restitution is sensible in the case of careless behavior that leads to broken items or the loss of time.
The goal is to reassure that you mean it. As children, we’re told to say sorry when we’ve done something wrong, but it’s not always that simple.
Your partner not only needs you to say, “I’m sorry,” but also needs you to admit to your wrongdoing.
Apology languages, at the heart of it, help you understand your loved ones better.
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